It is astounding how busy this life can get! We have had appointment after appointment.
Thankfully, everyone's eyes are seeing how they should see…their teeth have no cavities…on and on, all is well!
We have built forts,
been to a Hillbilly Hoedown,
watched Pastor preach in his pajamas for the last couple weeks, seen Third Day and Glory Revealed in concert,
went on fall picnics and field trips...
went to New Zealand in our schoolwork and we are headed to Japan next week. We have broken bread with friends, grown deeper with God, shared broken hearts with each other, cooked with a toddler,
seen family we haven't seen in months,
invented new games,
and cuddled up to watch T.V. We have read books and drawn pictures,
and made s'mores. We have cleaned and made messes, worked hard and slacked off!
We have been doing life.
It's Saturday now...6AM. I can't sleep. I've been dealing with some anxiety lately. I keep waking up about 4 and just laying there…thinking. Thinking about tons of things…trying not to worry over anything, but instead, present everything to my Lord who is way able to handle it all better than me!
I've been reading a book called How We Love. I read A LOT, but never have I read a book that cuts to the heart so quickly. I am going through it with four other women I meet with every Monday. We have been together for almost a year now and my, how we have grown!
We have overcome fears, stepped out in faith, confessed our transgressions, talked about the taboo, touched places long buried, cried lots of tears, laughed till we hurt, and prayed heart-wrenching prayers.
We have shared life.
Everyone needs people they can tell anything to…and I am grateful to have these women warriors by my side!
This book is about how we are imprinted as children…how we learn to give love and receive love. It is soul searching! It is difficult, but I know it is necessary. It has brought a lot of things to the surface that I guess I have pushed down. But already, it is changing the way I parent…changing the way I love and listen, perceive and receive.
We all need it. We all want it. Many of us can't handle getting there…and so we shut down. We become numb to life and go through the motions, never really experiencing the deep. We stay superficial and we miss out.
Relationships become strained and our hearts become heavy. Our countenance falls and we withdraw.
This is not living. This is existing.
Well, I've made a decision. Mere existing is NOT for me! Nope, not me! I'm going through. I'm going to learn how to deal and heal.