Thursday, July 29, 2010

Summer Pics-Laura's Birthday!

Laura's birthday was also in June.  I was able to spend a very fun weekend with her.  Andrea was in town and Amanda joined us as well.  We had dinner and watched movies...tackled the cake that Morgan (my Pastors' daughter) made her and laughed a lot!!!  

Why did we do this to the cake you may wonder.  Well, because we are adults and we aren't "supposed" to do anything so improper!  :)  The girls were acting silly, posing.  Then Andrea got her belated birthday of my favorite devotional books (Jesus Calling-if you need a good gift idea for anyone).  Laura opened her gifts...and here is a shot of her with her new Beth Moore book, So Long, Insecurity!  (Great read!)  Then some of my favorite moments always...big sisters reading to lil' bros...and there is even one of Laura and I cuddled up checking out her book!  GREAT TIMES!!! 

Summer Pics-Skatathon

I have really been terrible about picture taking this summer!  I hardly have any documentation of our fun!  hee hee

Here are some for you viewing pleasure however :)

These are from the Camp Legacy Kick-off...Skat-a-thon
 The lighting isn't great on these, but there are some cute ones so I will share.  This is my niece Adalee chewing on her hair while she watches the skaters whiz by.  My nephew Caleb is right behind her.
 This is Garrison trying to stay on his feet!!!
 Nieces Hadassah & Julianna...growing up way too fast!
Alex and his best friend Isaiah.  Being with Isaiah is about all Alex liked this day.  He is not a lover of roller skating!
 My nephew Joshua hanging onto the rail to stay up!
  My fabulous friend Tera and me getting so excited to be with our awesome campers again!
 My sweet niece Joleen.  I think she was skating pretty well.
 Nephews Judah and Caleb.  Judah got to try skating, but Caleb had to just watch :(
 Niece Lydia Grace...look at that beautiful smile!  Love that sweetness!
 Lil' nephew Zephaniah Paul.  Bless his heart...he was tryin' his hardest...and there is Joshy pulling his way behind.
And finally...Tom's sister, Erin (Mom to Lydia, Zeph, Judah, & Caleb)...she was quite a skater back in the day evidently.

Camp was June 26-29 and it was so amazing.  I don't have any pics of that this year because my friend Kristen took a gazillion on her awesome camera.  Hopefully I can get access to those soon!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

You know what I love???  I love when you see your labor pay off!

I love that FINALLY, after diligent training, I can say, "Okay gentlemen, we need to clean the house."  And now...yes happens...they clean and they clean well!  

It occurred to me some time ago how much parents expect and punish for...even though they have never taken the time to TRAIN their children in how to do what it is the parents want done!  

It's ridiculous.  It's frustrating.  It's exasperating!

Praise God I got the revelation!  

It's not easy to train.  It's not convenient.  BUT, it is necessary if you ever want peace and success!

I am so proud of my three sons!  They are some really, really great boys!  I have watched them mature so much.  Yes, we have more to learn, but wow...we are making progress.

Tonight, I hosted a baby celebration for a couple women in the church.  The boys helped me and had the house perfect and ready by we headed to the pool!  

When we got home, they moved chairs upstairs, helped set things up, helped the lady who arrived first, made their own they went to my sis-in-law's house...came back, moved stuff back, took the trash out, got showers, teeth, and meds done...called Dad to pray and the oldest was reading the youngest to sleep by the time I got out of the shower! 

People...THAT is a nice day.  A family playing and working together to benefit everyone!  It gives me inspiration to keep doing what God has told me to do!  I may not see the payoff for years to come, but I believe God is showing me that if I stay diligent, it WILL come.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Thinking... Or am I whining? It's okay, you can tell me if you think so!

I'm sitting in a quiet house, trying to rest after a night of stomach sickness!  Yuck!  

Boys are at Didi's house and hubby is off working hard for us.

I have been thinking a lot lately on just how amazingly blessed I am.  I mean...I have this life where, despite trials along the way, I am living in peace and joy I cannot describe to someone who has not experienced it.

It makes me feel sad for others.  I see things going on in people's lives around me and I think, "It just doesn't have to be that way!"  

I don't mean that I know how to make everything cushy or perfect.  Junk still happens to all of us.  We do live in a fallen world.  BUT, there is a way to get to a place where even if all hell is breaking lose around you, you can have peace!

I just have such a drive to help people.  Sometimes I am so consumed with compassion for people's situations I feel it to the depth of my being!  

Sometimes I go through these seasons of feeling like I may just explode one moment or weep the next!  This is one of those seasons.

I have all this stuff in me that I want to share...ideas, knowledge, wisdom, insights, art.  And I have so much I want to learn...Spanish, composers, spiritual principles, etc...

I hate the rat race.  I hate the need of going through the motions of daily life with the dream of "one day I will..."  Not that I hate the dreams.  I just hate what feels like wasted time.

I used to wish my life away.  I couldn't wait til this or that...til Friday or Saturday or June or til Tom got back from sea...

I thought, "What the heck am I doing?"  So I made it a point to enjoy each day.  And I do!  I really have made that a practice in my life.

BUT, like this season we have been in...I had to find a way to bring in some income because Tom is getting no overtime.  So, I prayed and God opened a door for me to babysit.  She was a sweet lil baby girl, but due to her other weekly circumstances, she liked being held and entertained all the time.  I could NOT keep doing that AND homeschool.  

Just as I thought I couldn't take anymore, God opened the door for her to go somewhere else and me to watch these other little (but older) girls through the summer.

It's going pretty good.  They are pretty sweet and they can go places easily with us.  We go to the pool and it's fun.  

BUT, yet again, it consumes my time.  I don't have time to spend with MY boys because I am meeting the needs of the girls...that IS what I am getting paid for!

In mid-August the girls will return to school and then what?  I am MAKING my flesh not worry about this.  I am totally standing and believing that God has something else planned out.  I just so dream of something that my family could do together that would bring in income.

We have no release from God to stop homeschooling at this point.  We have prayed much about that.  We only keep getting more confirmations that this is God's plan for us.  

I'm not trying to be lazy.  I just wish there was some way to make enough and still be able to focus on being mom and teacher first and foremost.  I wish that for all mommies everywhere.  And I know my situation is not as hard as many others.

I don't know.  Any thoughts???

Thursday, July 8, 2010

I Wish...

Here are some things I wish.  I can't honestly say that I pray for them, but they are things that run through my mind!

I wish I had the time to to keep in contact with ALL my friends well and not have to go in spurts with a few at a time.

I wish my neck alignment didn't cause me to have migraine headaches!

I wish I could see my boys grow into men AND keep them young at the same time.

I wish I could always remember Trey's smile before he loses all his baby teeth.

I wish I understood my Alex more.

I wish I didn't feel exhausted when I fall into bed at night.

I wish I didn't have to work and could just focus on being mom.

I wish I could finally put to rest the battle that wages in me on whether I can effectively teach my kids!

I wish people everywhere could stop hurting each other.

I wish people could talk more and judge less.

I wish mean assumptions had not been made about me.

I wish everyone would receive Jesus and know true peace.

I wish I had the money to live in a huge house and adopt a lot of kids...from everywhere!

I wish I could take away Garrison's battle with fear.

I wish people would seek to listen to the younger people in their lives and not seek to control them.

I wish my children were not inundated with sinful messages everywhere they turn in this world.

I wish I didn't wake up in the middle of the night with my heart racing and crazy thoughts running through my mind!

I wish life hadn't made me cynical and caused my faith to be lacking.

I wish I could never forget all the happy moments with the sons.

I wish I could see every person I pray for healed.

I wish no parents ever had to watch a child die.

I wish every parent loved their baby to the uttermost.

I wish...

So, I definitely see some things I can pray about...for wishing is just leaving it up for chance!  Faith is the substance of things hoped for but not yet seen.  Faith is confident assurance!

What do you wish for???  And of the things you wish, which ones can you start praying about?

Friday, July 2, 2010

Proceed with Caution! (Was I supposed to capitalize the w in with?)

Yes, that IS how my mind works...I LOVE proper grammar!  In the past, I would not have even been able to proceed without figuring out if the "w" did indeed need to be big!  See my growth!!!  See how I am letting loose and releasing control!

Okay, now on to what this post is REALLY about!  (or does it go right along with it?)

I want you to read this slowly.

I want you to stop and think and feel your reaction to the word I am going to type.  I want you to remember it and then post back to me and tell me all you experienced!  PLEASE!!!  I just really wanna know if you are full of warm fuzzies or if there is an inward groaning!

Okay, it is:


The very word evokes so many different things doesn't it?

I watched a movie last night that got my mind exploring what motherhood means to me.  (It's not a great movie and some I know wouldn't even be able to deal with it and receive it's message, lest it would make them feel so unholy to have even heard some of the TRUTHS mentioned in it!)

But, I realized at the mere mention of the word motherhood, I kind-of groan inside like this, "Eeeehhhhh..."

So, of course, I had to ask myself why!  


Why in the world would I do that when I LOVE being a mom so much??? !!! I secretly loathe my life?!

Truly, though, immediately following that groaning sound, I have a flood of wonderful thoughts and memories rush through my mind that makes me smile SO big!  Really, I do...because I experienced it several times last night!

Alas, I realize that the reason is not because I subconsciously hate it all (shew!)'s really because it's just plain exhausting people! 

C' know it...we all know it.  Even the men...who pretend not to know how to do it even half as good as we do it...even they know it's exhausting!

I admit, I was relieved to figure out I wasn't groaning inside because I don't enjoy it, but merely because it zaps me...nearly everyday of my existence!  But, I can say with total honesty that there is NOTHING I would rather be doing in life.

Motherhood brings joy like nothing else...and also sorrow, frustration, humility, encompasses so much and that is why it leaves us groaning!

Sometimes I am convinced that it was all part of God's plan to refine our character!  I bet He gets some good laughs out of watching us maneuver it too.

But just think of all that Motherhood entails!   Good heavens!!!

Here are a few of my mind's pictures of motherhood...

my pregnant belly
the flicker of his little heart on the ultrasound screen
his baby fingers and toes
watching him nurse
the screaming I can't stop
the sleep deprivation
walking the floor all night
fevers I can't make go away
fear as he climbs the ladder to slide
ink pen circles drawn all over my walls...and my new leather sofa
mountains of chocolate milk powder all over my kitchen
his head dripping wet because he dunked his OWN head in the toilet...THREE times in one day!
pulling him out of the pool lifeless
the military belly crawl
chubby thighs I can't stop squishing
the birthday party when the firetruck came
5 years old, dressed in a cap and gown!
searching frantically for him at the new house, only to find him "driving" the moving truck
coming home to see two of them riding two-wheelers without training wheels
singing a solo at the camp talent show
listening to the social worker teach me about child-proofing my home after they removed the safety pin from the bronchial of my THIRD child (who was being watched by his daddy)!
seeing them get baptized together
watching him raise his hands in praise and surrender to the Lord
listening to him talk in the microphone at camp in front of all his peers declaring he wants NOTHING but Jesus
learning he gave his most prized possession to a poor boy in Honduras
hearing that he gave words of knowledge to four of his friends
hearing his giggle that hasn't changed since toddlerhood
seeing them lay stones with their daddy
seeing him in the arms of his daddy who is dressed in military gear and crying as he says good-bye again
feeling helpless and understanding AGAIN that I have no control, as he lays in the hospital bed with symptoms of a stroke at 12 years old
gasping for breath as I turn in every direction to find him in the store
seeing his face when he gets just what he has been asking for
peeking in on him as he sleeps
covering his face with kisses and promising to never stop no matter how big he gets

These are just a FEW of the MANY, MANY moments motherhood has been for me. 


What about you???