Was husband on board with adoption?
Well, yes, even from the beginning, when I first began to talk about it. He knows well the beauty and need of adoption...his oldest and youngest sisters are adopted, so Tom was never ever opposed to it, but he didn't seem too ready to pursue it either. I wasn't sure what that meant.
I tucked the dream far away and continued to think "someday" we would get serious about it.
About a year and a half ago, I was at a retreat as my friend, who has adopted several children from Africa, shared about a friend and her family's situation. They had adopted a few children as well, and one of their daughters came from China. She was 13 years old, and sadly, things were not going well.
I do not have specifics of the circumstances that were happening. I do not know this family. What I do know from many families who have adopted is that the process and adjustments can go many different ways.
As I listened to my friend saying that the family was looking to re-home this young lady, well, my gut twisted and my heart ached. I could not hold back the tears. All I could think about is what this little girl must be going through and how 13 years ago my heart had been gripped by a little Chinese toddler on T.V.
My friend, of course, could not help but notice how emotional I was, and as I began to share my dream with her, something broke loose inside me. By the end of our conversation, she was asking if I wanted to talk to this family.
I. Didn't. Know.
What??? What was happening? Was this God? Could He have stepped into my life 13 years earlier, when this little baby girl was being born, to get my attention and prepare my heart to receive her? It was amazing and humbling to even consider that He may do such a magnificent thing!
I began texting Tom about all of it, as I couldn't even hold in the possibility that God may be up to something so unbelievable! When I arrived home, we talked extensively, naturally going over the lists of pros and cons. In the end, as with everything in our lives, we knew the bottom line was, "Father, what is your will?"
We determined not to push anything...only to wait and pray, seek and listen. We knew we were not the answer for this precious girl if it was not God's will.
As it turns out, it wasn't God's plan for her to join our family, but God absolutely anointed her as a catalyst for our journey!
Her name is Faith, and I know with all my heart that she became part of our story to get our attention and get me praying for the one(s) who will be coming home to us.
Faith increased my faith to believe that the dream wasn't meant to just be a dream and that the God of the universe could absolutely orchestrate a mind-blowing set of circumstances to get any child He ordained into our home!
So now I knew my husband was really willing, but did he dream too? Did he desire to pursue this? Did he regard it as an option or accept it as a calling?
I had more praying to do.